[ Ethan doesn't say anything again until he's finished with the bandages, not until he starts cleaning up his work area. He lets the words soak in and wash over him, surprised at how they seem to strike a chord with him. For the first time since his arrival to the apartment, he feels some of the anger begin to dissipate, replaced with something bordering on understanding. ]

It threatens to destroy me every day. Some days I feel like I'm one step away from giving into the darkness, on others I've taken two steps away from it. The only reason it hasn't destroyed me is because I can't afford to let it, there's too much I want to protect. Guilt follows me like a shadow, Dorian, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to atone for what I've done.

[ As if to drive that fact home, he carefully unravels the bandages on one of his hands to show it to Dorian. Unlike the previous time, the nail marks are deeper, jagged, and angry -- yet another display of how quickly things could change from month to month. Some months were easier than others and the injuries sustained were manageable but other times? They could be savage. ] I never know what I'll become but it's a part of me.

Sometimes I'm afraid of what I'll see if I ever find the nerve to glance behind me but if I don't embrace it, I'll go mad. I've spent much of my life running, yearning for forgiveness from people I'll never meet again in this life. If you don't face what you are, what you've done, then the lives that were lost are meaningless.

We were born into the world with a purpose. Find yours and take it a day at a time.